Near Death Experiences: The Chase

Fred Buchanan had been a police officer for five years. He patrolled his little town, knew everyone, could name the birthday’s of all the children, and knew just what to say to calm down Jeff Stevens when he got into his cups. He’d pulled over speeders, because that was really some great income. It was an mildly irritating, time consuming part of his work life. Fred was currently making his way out of town, to switch with Greg Omber at the speed trap. His radio crackled to life. A Texas drawl could be heard.

“Hey Fred we’ve got reports of a high speed car race headed our way.” It was Dennis Monk, the dispatcher. Fred frowned. This was something he’d never anticipated.

“Gotcha, description and direction Dennis.” His country accent thick and low.

“Black Honda with a lady at the wheel and a big-ass truck, modified, oversized tires, the works, adolescent male driver. North bound. It looked like the Honda was trying to edge into the tuck’s lane. Said the Honda was almost completely ahead of it. I reckon you’ve got ten minutes tops before they blow by the back cut.”

Fred sighed. He needed to stop asking for interesting days.

“Radio Greg, Peggy, and Jim, we need to clear the road and set up some tire shredders. I’ll grab the back road with Peggy and see about cuttin’ ’em off.”

“You got it boss. Want me to call in the others?”

“Please and thank you.”

Fred accelerated and headed towards the one road which might let them cut off these damn fools. his radio crackled again.

“Fred it’s Peg, my ETA to the 35 crossing is ten minutes.” Peggy Black was a deputy who they affectionately called the Speed Demon. She was probably twenty minutes away, but knowing her she’d be at the crossing in ten, come hell or high water.

“Rodger, I’ll see you there.” Fred radioed back. He floored it and road the curves of the road, knowing it’d be close. Fred cocked his head, he could swear he could hear an engine. He leaned forward, the car engines were louder now; just as 35 came into view he saw them racing by, the Honda straddling both lanes, the truck right on it’s ass. Fred blanched. The truck was on fire.

“Dispatch come in!” He barked, lights and siren on full blast, his car pivoting around the curve, shooting towards the speeding cars.

“This is despatch.”

“The caller mention anything about flames?!” Fred barked. The truck kept trying to swerve around the Honda.

“No.” Dennis sounded confused.

“The whole back of the goddamned truck is on fire and she didn’t think to mention it?!”


Meanwhile in the Honda: Fletch groaned in frustration. Blue and red lights in the mirror. This would be fun to explain.

“We’ve got cops!” Fletch exclaimed.

“I know, I know.” Olivia said, shoulders tight, constantly glancing from the road to the mirror. She eased on the gas, hoping to slow this idiot down. The cop was easily gaining. A second police car appeared behind them. This one gaining even faster.

“We got another one coming in hot!”

“Fletch! This isn’t a war movie!”

“It better not turn into one!”

“Keep an eye little dick!”

“He’s freaking out about the cop cars.” Olivia grinned at Fletch’s words. Asshole. True to Fletch’s words, Little Dick had a panicked look on his face, glancing between the police cars and our intrepid duo.

Fletch kept looking back and was debating whether or not to start flipping this dude off.

“Don’t do it.” Olivia said. Fletch pouted. Olivia eased off just a bit more. Little Dick’s truck bumped them.

“Come on, slow down.” Olivia muttered. Suddenly little dick decided to be more stupid. He took advantage of the nearby curving shoulder to accelerate and veer around Olivia.

His truck seemed suspended in the air for a moment, flames flickering slowly as he arched over the hill. He landed hand and accelerated quickly, speeding back onto the freeway. Olivia and Fletch glanced at each other before pulling over to let the police pass them. No need to get involved if the police were here.

As the police cars zoomed by Fletch rubbed her eyes. She was too young for this shit. Olivia slowed the car and pulled over, turning the engine off. She turned to look at Fletch expectantly, waiting for her to move.

“Become an accountant mom said, nice stable job mom said, you’ll have long vacations after tax season.” Fletch muttered under her breath, “THIS IS NOT A NICE VACATION DAMMIT!” She shouted indignantly. Olivia’s face was blank as she handed Fletch a water bottle. She chugged it and then got out of the car and paced back and forth for a good ten minutes before returning to the car. She stood by the drivers side door and gestured to Olivia.

With a jaunty grin, Olivia hopped out and tossed Fletch the keys.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Olivia called as Fletch drove to an empty field, perpendicular to the road. She got a middle finger in response. Fletch spent the next thirty minutes venting her frustration doing donuts and trying her best to get as much dirt and grass all over the tires and car. By the time she was done, the field looked like a bunch of drunk aliens had attempted to carve a landing pad.

Fletch pulled back up to Olivia, who was busily snapping photos, a mildly impressed look on her face.

“It looks like a bunch of drunk aliens tried to land. 9 out of 10.” Fletch looked offended at her words.

“Bitch, that fucking deserved a 10 and you know it.” Fletch said, tossing the keys to her friend. Olivia rolled her eyes and grinned.

“Please, look at the lines over there on the right, sloppy cover up for a shitty donut.” She slipped into the car, Fletch moving to the other side. As she stepped in she snarked, “Says the woman who couldn’t slow down a little dick with a free and clear road.”

Olivia playfully narrowed her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

“You’re just mad you weren’t driving.” Fletch felt a light blush spread across her cheeks. Olivia let out a laugh. Fletch was well known to her town’s sheriff as one of the most infamous street racers. Suffice to say, Fletch was a speed demon. With one more chuckle, Olivia pulled off the shoulder and onto the blacktop.

Thirty minutes later (at twenty miles below the speed limit) they found themselves in a tiny town called Greene. Olivia pulled into the single available parking space in front of a diner. Fletch and Olivia had spent the drive debating the best way to go about approaching the police. They decided food was more important. They stalked up to the diner doors.

And met absolute pandemonium and horror.


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